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Reflective Work with
Horses: Dropping the Agenda...and Receiving the Treasure Leigh Shambo, MSW
To make
use of the full intelligence and eloquence of our equine
companions requires that we develop new ways of
listening, and new ways of being with horses that are
not agenda-driven. What do I mean by
agenda-driven? When we methodically pursue
grooming, riding and cooling out without taking time to
be fully present to ourselves or our mount, we are
following an agenda. Agendas are fine for
conditioning muscles and for learning new physical
skills. However, agendas are not very supportive of the
healing and growth potential of interspecies friendship.
When we allow the full spectrum of friendship to unfold,
horses reveal themselves as masters of psychological
support.
To partner with horses specifically in pursuit of emotional maturity and
psychospiritual growth, it is essential to lay aside agendas and learn
to attend to the feeling tone of each moment. In this attentiveness we
learn to discern which emotional patterns are our own, which belong to
our equine friend, and what patterns might be shared or reflected in
specific ways. The horse’s message to us might only be revealed when
given unstructured time, and willingness on the human’s part to listen
with the heart instead of the rational mind.
The
story of Judy shows how eloquently a horse can speak to us about our
emotional and spiritual development. Judy is an athletic, outdoorsy
woman in her mid to late 30’s. She is a mother, a professional woman
with practical approach to life and a background in the sciences. She
also studied energetic healing. I first met Judy when she came to
Human-Equine Alliances for Learning (HEAL) for a private intensive. She
wanted to work on issues involving her family life. Judy did not feel
very expressive emotionally and this created barriers between herself
and loved ones. Judy’s son had taken up riding, reopening Judy’s
childhood love of horses, and she was very open to what they might teach
her.
At first, Judy’s rational mind would not let go of her fear of what is
unknown. With some practice she was able to practice a non-agenda state
with the horses while cultivating a heightened self-awareness of her
emotions and energy—what we at HEAL refer to as reflective work with
horses. Reflective ground exercises are designed to invite the unknown,
or at least to invite what we are presently ready to become conscious
of.
In the sacred space of the round pen, Judy would learn to stay present
with the process of her inner reality while she interacted with the
horse without an agenda. Ameer is a wise, gentle 20 year old Arabian
gelding that Judy chose to be her partner for a reflective round pen
session. He is a handsome bight bay, and he watched Judy intently while
she took a moment to check her self-awareness. But as she entered the
pen, he turned his back toward her and walked to the other side. Judy
firmly crossed her arms, cocked a leg, and stood looking at Ameer with
curiosity. She had to admit that her first reaction was a sense of
rejection that caused a bodily stiffening.
In the non-verbal ambiguity of
the horse-human bond, Judy was quick to recognize ways in which she
projected her inner reality onto the world. She noticed the
uncomfortable moments where her own self-criticism drove Ameer away. She
had to admit that the horses were speaking to her in ways that
transcended our cultural views and rational approach to life. She
continued to monitor her sensations and emotional reactions. She was
able to stay open. What could he be telling her?
As Judy pondered this
question, her body softened almost imperceptibly. Her developing
self-awareness allowed her to identify subtle feelings of rejection and
wanting to control the situation without feeling compelled to act on
these feelings. Instead she consciously stayed open to the magical
thought that perhaps handsome Ameer had his own agenda for helping her
to learn something about herself.
Ameer turned casually just as
Judy’s posture shifted somewhat. He ambled over to where Judy stood
with her arms still crossed, and he started nuzzling her chest. Nuzzle,
nuzzle across Judy’s folded arms. He seemed gentle enough, so at first
Judy just fixed her arms to withstand the nuzzling. In a moment though,
she again relaxed a notch and allowed Ameer to separate her arms and
expose her chest. Judy stood with her arms out before her, fists still
in balls. Ameer nuzzled the area over her heart.
Next Ameer began nuzzling in
earnest on Judy’s hands. Using a rapid back and forth of just the upper
lip as horses do when sifting grain morsels, Ameer went from hand to
hand, determinedly nuzzling until both of Judy’s hands were open, palms
upward. Then he licked each palm soothingly, nodding contentedly with
his eyes half closed. Judy’s eyes became wet with tears.
“All Ameer wants is my openness,” she said between sobs. “I have always
feared not being good enough, and I shut others out before they reject
me. I just felt the power of truly staying open to Ameer’s love even
when I was tempted to think he turned his back on me!” Judy later
reported that this session had made a tremendous difference in her
ability to open herself to the love and enjoyment of her family. She
continues to share her love of horses and riding with her son. And she
continues to make reflective time with her horse part of the spectrum of
activities. “Having the horses helping me see some things about myself
is very powerful. The body scan and energy awareness skills are ways
for me to stay in authentic contact!”
Leigh Shambo, MSW is a lifelong horsewoman, a psychotherapist and educator with many years of coaching and training
experience. She is the creator of Invisible Horsemanship™
and the founder and lead therapist of HEAL
(Human Equine Alliances for Learning), a nonprofit equine assisted
psychotherapy and learning organization. Leigh is an Advanced
Facilitator
graduate of Linda Kohanov's Epona Center
apprenticeship
program and is EAGALA
certified. Her website is
www.humanequinealliance.org.
