Equus Spirit Article 21

Equine-Facilitated Psychotherapy (EFP) is a branch of animal-assisted therapy, rooted in a convergence between medicine/psychology and recreational therapy. In reviewing the literature regarding Equine-Facilitated Psychotherapy(EFP), suffice it to say that the empirical research is both firmly suggestive of the value of EFP as a treatment approach, and only suggestive.

“Jennifer” (a pseudonym) is a 54 year old, married (15 years), Caucasian female, a long-term client. This was her second EFP session, about a year after her first. She married late in life (40 years old) because she thought she was pregnant. Her husband has never functioned well, and she has “over” functioned. Initially, in her therapy, her relationship with her husband involved “mothering”/controlling him with instructions about errands and chores, and bitter, mean-spirited, hostile fights. Her husband was “not an alcoholic, g'damn it, get off my back” on an episodic (four to 16 times per month) basis. By the time of this session, their relationship had radically improved. She had experienced moments with her husband that shocked her because she had not thought he was capable of such loving, giving, kind, compassionate behavior.

My usual “manualized” start for an EFP session is to tell clients that the horse is not a horse, it is their “life,” and their job is to get their “life” to go as they would like it to go, but that beginning had fallen flat at Jennifer’s first EFP session. I started this session by informing her of “Bandit’s” history of “acting out.” This led to a brief highlighting of how the flaws with my horse were very different from the flaws of her horse, both of which were different yet from the flaws of other horses … much as people all have different sets of flaws.

Jennifer looked a bit bored. So I shifted gears, and we started talking about a recent conflict with her husband on a weekend holiday. Her husband had stayed late in the lounge. At about 3:00 a.m., an intoxicated man knocked on their patio door, wishing to continue his conversation with her husband.. She had hissed at the man to, “Get the hell out of here! I don’t care who you are! I don’t care what you want! Get out of here! ” The man would not leave. She tried to get her husband to deal with the situation, but he just yelled – from the bed – at the man to go away, and threatened to get his gun. Jennifer and her husband had another horrible fight that night, and another one the next day.

It is simplicity that leads researchers to study mice, lobsters, and planarian to learn about human behavior and neurobiology. The thought occurred to me, “What if your husband was a horse?” What if her husband was a very difficult horse, with a lot of bad and difficult habits/behaviors, and he had gotten out, and then come home with a stray horse-reject following him? What would she do then? The options are easier when the situation is simplified.

The truth is that, at least for this moment in time, we all are what we are. Change might come in the future, maybe even the near future, but each horse is what each horse is at that moment, and each of us is what we are. Quirky. Changing. But at any moment, we are the combination of quirks and strengths and weaknesses that we are, and there is not a great deal of value in hissing, yelling, abandoning, pouting, acting disgusted, humiliating, attacking, blaming, rejecting, or leaving horses (or people) for not changing fast enough.

“In thinking about me, my husband, and how horses just ‘are’ sometimes, I felt good about still wanting to keep trying to do my best, to continue to see what will work, to keep me and my horse/husband heading down the trail on a good ride. Maybe husbands are like horses. They are the way they are just because that’s the way they are. Not because they are good, bad, or indifferent; drunk or sober or alcoholic; spiteful, revengeful, lazy, stubborn, mean, or anything else. They weren’t trying to hurt you, piss you off, ignore you, disappoint you, make you do or not do anything, or feel or not feel anything at all. They are just the way they are because that’s how they are.”

So what changed for Jennifer? This session initially seemed to have had not much of an effect, if any, in their relationship. But she had a very thorough and complete understanding of the heuristic. Standing on the patio hissing at this flawed man – and then hissing at her husband – not only did not work at the moment, but it is unlikely to ever work any better for them than for her horse. She had a clear understanding that she would have to do something different if she wants to be shed of the alcohol-driven chaos her husband brings into their marriage. But she did not know what to do different. She understood that people and horses form habits that can be very difficult to change, and that hissing/screaming/humiliating often makes problems worse. She understood that her approach to her husband will have to be thoughtful, not impulsive and emotionally dramatic. She understood that it will take time to improve her marriage. She knew that fixing both her marital problems and problems with her horse may take effort after effort after effort, and the final result may still be imperfect. And she knew that some horses are not worth working with.

One year follow-up. One year later, Jennifer’s marriage has continued to improve. They started teaching a dance class together. They are sharing finances now. Her husband went through a period of about four months of total abstinence from alcohol, the first period of abstinence he has experienced in their now 16 year marriage. He apologizes to her when he hurts her (he used to blame her), occasionally goes out of his way to meet her, comes home when he says he is coming home, and he has built a dream room for them in their home.

Paul C. Daley, Ph.D. (Licensed Psychologist [#913]), has been in private practice in Port Angeles, WA for the last 21 years. He was the Program Director for the Grant County Mental Health Center before moving to Port Angeles. He is a member of the Washington State Psychological Association and the American Psychological Association. He also has extensive experience in working with close custody prison inmates. He is the father of two grown children, and the proud owner of five horses, one of whom is a magic horse. He has been conducting EFP sessions for the past four years.