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Finding Tikha: Journey to a Horse
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Part Four
Val
Hampson, MA
Fourth
in a series on a midlife woman’s journey to find her first horse.
Do you believe in destiny?
The horse pictured in the online ad
was beautiful. A palomino Paint, he was tan and white with a flowing,
rich white mane and a nice stocky build that bespoke of strong bones.
The description said he was gentle and suitable for a novice; in fact,
he had been recently giving lessons. He also was a Western pleasure show
horse, although that did not matter to me as I had no intention to show.
.... The
ranch was stunning, all blue buildings, crisp and pristine with paddocks
and pastures dormant at the cusp of spring. The place was impressive and
imposing with various tall structures surrounding a wide circular drive
and courtyard. It astonished me that there would be such a place on the
edge of a city.
The trainer, Ann, was in the indoor
arena with its massive doors rattling a bit in the strong winds. I
waited while she finished longeing a Paint. She introduced herself and
brought out Win. He was as beautiful as his picture. Win was ‘home’ in
his body, he wasn’t dissociative, but he did not engage energetically in
an enthusiastic way with me, either.
Ann longed him a bit and his gaits
looked smooth, his trot almost a glide.
A chatty 7 year old girl stepped up
to the rail next to me. She used to ride Win, she said, but now she
rides a harder horse. It’s always enviously maddening to me how children
pick up riding so quickly, like young skiers who whiz down the slopes
around the adult beginners.
I mounted up. Win was used to classic
Western pleasure riding and Ann suggested I sit way back on my pockets,
opposite of how I typically ride and use neck reining which I don’t
usually do. She said Win was slow. I supposed many would call him lazy.
I don’t generally like to call either
people or horses lazy. Some are just more energetic, quicker, or more
engaged, more motivated to a particular task than others. Given the
right desire and interest, there is more motivation and engagement. Even
a lower energy horse will move more quickly. I bet Win moved along quite
smartly for hay or to go out with a horse buddy.
A slower horse suits me fine, but I
do want a good connection and engagement with my horse. And for both of
us to enjoy riding, my horse needs to respond to my cues and aids.
With stronger use of aids, Win moved
forward. The recliner style position felt odd to me. Win felt good,
comfortable. He felt, well, trustworthy. I suspected he might not have
been entirely sure if I was trustworthy, given that I was a stranger, a
little awkward with this type of riding and maybe a new one of those
students ready to jostle him around.
We moved into a trot, smooth as
glass, we glided around to the sound of his hooves in the soft footing.
He broke into a lope; I would not have known it, but for the different
cadence of his hooves, he was that smooth. He was a pleasure to ride.
I thought perhaps we could develop a
good connection in time when I could prove I was a good leader to him. I
figured we would find our own rhythms and way of being with each other,
the way a tight work team or married couple does.
After I dismounted, Ann tied Win to
remove his tack. Standing close to him, I smoothed his coat and, while
she put away the tack, I whispered to him, did he want me to be his
person?
Win was tall, 16hh. He turned a bit
and smacked his head down on mine. Rubbing the spot, I wondered if that
was his reply. That behavior seemed at odds with the rest of his
demeanor.
Ann returned and asked me to come
upstairs to chat and see his video. While we talked, I thought about how
I liked Win a lot. I was thinking of buying him. The lack of connection
gave me some pause. And, I do not usually make decisions quickly. In
fact, I can be quite slow about it, considering all the information,
pros and cons. So, I knew I would not buy him on the spot.
Ann said another buyer was interested
in him. That woman had a progressive disease and desperately wanted to
show for a couple of years until her illness would prevent her from
continuing. She needed a slower horse with super smooth gaits due to her
condition.
I knew then that it was Win’s chosen
destiny to be that woman’s horse, to give her that joy in life. Perhaps
that is why I did not sense a connection from him to me and maybe why he
bopped me on the head. He was already someone else’s horse.
The woman had not firmly decided yet,
said Ann, and no money had changed hands. But, I could not decide that
quickly. And, as much as I liked him, I felt he had this other destiny
with the other buyer.
I went home and thought about it for
the rest of the weekend. On Monday I called. The woman had called right
after I left, Ann said, and bought him.
I believe there is a very happy horse
and rider out there who were destined for each other.
No other horse I have seen has held a
candle to Win. So for me, Win is the horse that got away.
Val Hampson, MA,
is EAGALA certified and a writer, horsewoman, educator, energy and qigong practitioner, psychotherapist,
and editor of Equus Spirit. Contact her at
valh@equusspirit.com
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