Active Work with Horses: Explorations in Authentic Power
Leigh Shambo,
MSW
As everyone who has spent
time around horses knows, one of their most noticeable
attributes is that they are just so, well… physical.
And powerful. And at times, willful. These
elemental qualities of our equine friends allow for very
intriguing self-exploration. How do we own our power in
relationship to another powerful being? How do we discern when
to use physical strength, and when to use finesse? When to
take action, and when to be patient? And when we do take
action, how much action should we take?
....
In building right relationship
with horses, we learn that conflict can be both safe and
productive. Learning to do conflict in creative, skillful ways
is one of the cornerstones of balanced relationships, with
horses or with humans. While we are all eager to move away from
the old ways of horse-breaking and forceful resolution (or
escalation!) of conflict, the fact remains that to have a
respectful relationship we must find ways of owning our power.
Here are some principles that can help guide you in your
exploration.
Discern varieties of
authority
There are two kinds
of authority: the authority to take decisive action (which must
be owned by the authority and also granted by the subordinate
partner), and the authority of superior knowledge (as when we
say, “She’s an authority on the subject”). Ideally, these two
attributes occur together: we usually appreciate leaders who are
both persuasive and knowledgeable. All too often— at our jobs,
in politics, and even at the average boarding stable—we see
strength and power substituted for knowledge and judgment.
Have you ever been under the direction of a boss who liked to
wield power but had little knowledge of the challenges you faced
in the job?
Some
situations, such as getting a horse to change leads in the
canter without interrupting her stride, call primarily upon the
rider’s superior and detailed knowledge of the task. A rider
who is unable to lead the horse through the task (successfully
changing leads) and then becomes more forceful is not expressing
any kind of authority—merely venting frustration over her own
inability to send the horse the right signals, making the horse
a convenient scapegoat instead of examining her own skills and
ability.
Some kinds of
misbehaviors, such as bucking when picking up the canter, can be
either a sign of the rider’s lack of skill (and can also reflect
issues of balance or physical pain), or can be testing the
rider’s resolve. Such situations demand discernment of the
causative factors before resolution will take place. This
gives us a chance to practice becoming more authoritative, but
backing down gracefully if increased assertion does not appear
to be the answer and only escalates a conflict. In fact, this
is one of the most important conflict resolution skills, to let
go of our position when we see that it is not serving us in
moving toward a good solution.
Simple ground
exercises are the best way to establish the horse’s confidence
in our leadership. For instance, if you ask a horse to move out
and travel around the round pen, a horse that respects your
right to do so will move off promptly to the best of their
ability. A horse that does not respect your request will not
only not move off, but may overtly challenge your authority if
you continue “bugging” her. In between is the horse that
delays, and then moves off in a sluggish fashion, dragging her
feet or even crowding toward the center with her shoulders (body
language that any parent of a teenager can recognize!). This
says, “I am testing your awareness to see if you recognize that
I do not completely accept your authority.”
When the situation calls for
it, let your feelings show
Emotions have their own language and it is the language of
meaning. Laura is a horsewoman who studied at
HEAL
in order to improve her relationship and riding performance with
Gypsy, her 5 year old warmblood mare. Laura combined natural
horsemanship with lower level dressage and trail-riding. As I
watched Laura work with Gypsy in ground exercises, I observed
that Gypsy was slow to respond to Laura’s signals. In fact,
Laura would repeat each cue as many as ten times, waiting for
Gypsy’s response which was invariably sluggish. Gypsy’s
swishing tail signaled her irritation with Laura’s demands.
Although Laura increased the intensity of cues appropriately,
the missing ingredient turned out to be Laura’s communication of
her emotional response to Gypsy’s lackluster response.
Laura was being more or less “blown off” by Gypsy—and
impatience, or what I like to call righteous indignation, was an
entirely appropriate response. In the absence of an emotional
context for the escalating force of her signals, Laura was in
essence conditioning Gypsy to
become tolerant of repeated and heavy cues, rather than teaching
her to be more responsive.
Use posturing and drama
before physical force
Learning to be more expressive of her feeling state did not come
naturally to Laura, who had worked many years at a job which
demanded a universal and artificial politeness. With
practice, Laura was able to dramatize her requests with sudden
surprising sounds, and quick, expressive movements. Laura
learned to act out feelings in ways that were demonstrative but
non-violent—“Hey friend! I’m really annoyed when you neglect my
requests!” Horses themselves always precede physical force
with increasing dramatic posturing (this is usually effective in
preventing conflict among horses from actually coming to
blows).
The
first few “outbursts” that Laura practiced caused Gypsy’s eyes
to fly open in a way that even a high-pressure physical cue
could not. It was as if Gypsy suddenly realized, “Oh my! I
didn’t know you felt so strongly about it!” and then she
performed the requested movement with a cat-like quickness that
belied her draft horse origins. When Laura saw how responsive
Gypsy could be, her face illustrated the “light-bulb” quality of
the moment. “Ah!” she exclaimed. “So that’s what everyone
means when they talk about ‘lightness’ in the horse!”
Your
spectrum of expression should include physical touch when
appropriate
Watch
horses in a herd, and you will see the natural progression that
they use in asserting their authority with another horse. They
have no trouble owning power (that is, when they actually have
the power!). Their body language moves smoothly from a request,
to a warning, to physical contact which enforces the request.
When physical contact (i.e. a bite or a kick) ensues, it is
carefully calibrated to the amount of response desired. Like a
gentle but effective nip, it is entirely possible for a person
to gently remind a horse with a touch of the longe whip that a
response is expected and required. In fact, horses
consistently show us that they are comfortable when we wield our
authority in such a natural progression.
In our
highly civilized (one might even say “overly civilized”)
society, we are conditioned to be polite instead of being
authentic. Countless clients express to me their discomfort
with the whip (we try to assuage our discomfort by calling it a
wand, or a carrot stick), and are reluctant to pick it up even
when it will increase not only our authority, but the clarity of
our signals to the horse (holding some sort of whip increases
our visibility to the horse and allows a much greater range of
clarity in signaling than our arms alone).
Nina had come to HEAL
to work on issues of assertion. She felt that people walked
over her and called herself “the doormat”. As she mastered
the reflective work of self-awareness and moved on to active
round pen work, she found herself in the pen with a big pinto
gelding named Jazz. Jazz benignly tolerated Nina’s first
attempts to direct him around the pen, sniffing the ground and
nibbling at the sparse blades of grass here and there. As Nina
became more emphatic with her requests, Jazz began to show some
irritation, showing her his butt as he turned away from her,
swishing his tail as Nina moved closer in her attempts to get
him to move. Nina resisted my suggestion that she pick up the
longeing whip that was within easy reach. “I just feel that it
would be much better to do it without the whip”, she said. “I
don’t want Jazz to see me as a person who would be cruel.”
Why are
we afraid that asserting ourselves in the physical realm will
automatically disqualify us from our horse’s affection? The
force of this conditioned belief comes from the human world, not
the equines themselves. The nuanced language of touch is
an important part of the vocabulary between horse and human, in
both affection and impatience, as a soothing gesture or a call
to heightened attention. Neither holding the whip nor touching
the horse with it is in itself cruel, what matters is our
sensitivity and judgment about when or how much or why. And
sensitivity and judgment rely on the other kind of authority— an
abiding understanding and interest in the well-being of the one
that we expect to be the ‘following partner’ in our chosen
activities.
Perhaps the most
important thing to recognize about either type of authority is
that it must be granted by your equine partner. Your
horse’s response will tell you when you have effectively
established your authority. When you are able to effectively
combine both your power of persuasion, and also be a
knowledgeable authority of the work you are requiring and how to
help the horse feel safe and comfortable in his work, you will
earn and be granted his trust. Ultimately, you will learn that
the moments of friction, even conflict, are resolved quickly and
to the benefit of the relationship. Giving you an even more
durable framework for friendship, affection and
cooperation.
