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It’s Not About the Money
Judy Tsai
Friday,
September 2, 2005
I had
Whitney put to sleep this morning. She was in the final stages of
Cushing's Disease with severe laminitis. Her
coffin bone had changed position and her feet were extremely flat making
it incredibly painful for her to walk. She was 25 and the vet said that
was old for a Thoroughbred. I had her for 9 years. She was the first
horse I ever owned. She wasn’t exactly an “Off-The-Track Thoroughbred”
she was more of a “Trained to Race but not Quite Fast Enough to Actually
Race so Turned into a Brood Mare until the Farm went Broke and Sold at
an Auction to a Chain of Owners Whom She Intimidated Thoroughbred"
mare. And, she was the absolute wrong horse for me, a beginner
adult. As it turns out though, she was the best teacher I have ever
known.
.... She taught
me how to fall. The ass is the best part to reach the ground first,
second only to the feet. Flipping will keep you from landing on your
head. She taught me not to try to hold on to the reins during a fall
because you will certainly break a finger. She taught me how to ride a
spook. A handy lesson I will thank her for during the rest of my riding
career. She taught me how to teach a horse to trailer during three long
winter months. She could crossfire for two hundred yards, teaching me
how it feels. In case crossfiring is ever added to the 1st
level dressage tests, I am ready. She taught me how to ride a straight
horse with no bend and no flexion and no brakes whatsoever. Her son,
Zeus, is teaching me how to bend and supple and stop a horse. She
taught me patience, patience, patience. She taught me how to think like
a horse. She taught me never to buy the first horse you look at when
you know nothing about horses.
She taught me about things
that horses can spook at....... and that would be anything. She taught
me never to buy a horse that won't tie. She taught me that you can take
an inexperienced horse and inexperienced rider foxhunting and survive.
I learned I just had to replenish the bar and get my name on the
humiliating “fall” list and stomp all over any pride I might have had
in my riding skills. She taught me the beauty of pregnancy and birth
and motherhood. She taught me that growing old can be difficult and
ugly and painful .
She taught
me that it's not about the money. It's about hard work and dedication
and consistency and acknowledging your inadequacies, and you don't mind
putting money "into horses" because you learn all that.....and more.
She taught me that every time you think you know all there is to know
about horses, you don't. I think that's called humility. She taught me
that a 6th place ribbon on a $750 horse means more than a big blue
ribbon on a push-button high dollar horse. I paid $750 for Whitney and
the previous owner threw in a big Western saddle and a winter rug with
moth holes. She always had bad feet and bad teeth and bad skin and I
spent ten times as much money on addressing those issues than I spent on
her purchase price. She taught me that horses have big teeth. I still
have her molars that had to be pulled. She bucked only once when a big
horsefly was on her butt. That day I was riding her with a broken leg
(against the Dr.'s orders), and when I spent a few minutes riding her
neck, she didn't mind. She allowed me to slide back down her
neck and squirm back into my saddle. She never ever tried to kick, even
when the vet's arm was up her butt. Above all, she was kind. She was
literally afraid of her own shadow but she was, indeed, a very kind
soul. And she taught me never to give up.
I spent
almost as much to euthanize her and bury her on our farm as I did to buy
her. I might have gotten my $750 back if I had sold her by the pound at
the auction for whoknowswhat. But I could look her in the eye
this morning and tell her "Thank You for Everything."
Any
breathing being with a heart that enters your life brings meaning to
your life. And she did. And I'll miss her.
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